Well it's one o'clock on a Saturday in a few hours my feast will begin There's a fellow out there on the patio about six o'clock I'll bring him in I take a quick peek at the barbecue its aroma tickles my nose And it's savory and sweet And its friends called it Pete When it wore a younger man's clothes Well the first man I ate was my son-in-law He was nasty but turned out quite nice Then a postman named Davy who made a good gravy And paired well with my red beans and rice And my T-shirt smells like a carnivore And my neighbor runs like a deer He'll be tougher indeed, but I'll cook him sous-vide You know beef's so expensive this year Lately I've taken up gardening Thanks to bone meal it's coming in grand I'm considering keto I'll look great in a Speedo Just so long as I stick to the plan And my power bill looks like Mt. Everest Running crock pots and freezers galore 'Cuz for now it's just me that they're going to feed So I have to have somewhere to store. And now as you've been reading my monologue I've been doing my own reading too And I'm thinking tandoori With a plum relish surely Will be the right serving for you.
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